Oh, I explained my point of view for the hundredth time and I think I finally managed to persuade him that my crazy idea was not quite as dotty as he had always thought, A victory, Which won't get us anywhere, True enough, though, of course, one can never be quite sure where exactly victories get us anyway, sighed the mathematics teacher, Whereas everyone knows where defeats get us, especially the people who poured everything they had into the battle, but no one pays any attention to that particular lesson from history, Anyone would think that you were fed up with your job, Perhaps I am, it's just that we seem to be putting the same old sauce on the usual dishes, nothing changes, Are you thinking of leaving teaching, I don't know exactly, or even vaguely, what I think or want, but I imagine it would be a good idea, To abandon teaching, To abandon anything.
--Jose Saramago, The Double
This is not my first blog.
Between 2003 and 2005, I pounded out about 75,000 words. A respectable novel, in terms of length if not content. It's funny, though, how an undertaking can collapse under its own weight if it draws out too long. I find this is especially true in movies these days--a snappy comedy weighed down by a clumsy and contrived romantic plot, a drama diluted by too much exposition.
And so it was with the blog. I found myself being steered by my own momentum. The inertia of almost three years of near-daily rambling about the news of the day, my thoughts, my ideas, and (occasionally) my life just became too cumbersome. Though there was nothing real keeping me from taking new directions with my writing, I nonetheless felt trapped by what I had already done.
So I stopped. I let it sit for six months. And eventually, I deleted it.
I had other practical reasons for doing so; I was approaching a career move, and didn't necessarily want prospective employers coming upon some things I had written (the blog was published under my real and full name). But really, that was just a convenient excuse to do something I wanted to do anyway.
With some time and distance between me and it, I think I am ready to start again. We'll see how it goes.
