6.30.2010

because i never get enough comments anymore

I want to see the borders open, but only to gay Mexican Muslims. Legalize all drugs, but ban all guns. No, strike that: you can only own a gun if you can prove you smoke pot every day. Weekly urine tests to verify (we'll also check your blood sugar, fatty.) Tax anyone who makes more money than me at 99%. Abortion should be legal through the 36th trimester. Trig Palin is Bristol's son. (Sarah is actually a cyborg, which is why she can't have babies and you never see her eating.) 9/11 was carried out by the CIA in conjunction with Fox so that 24 would have really high ratings. The gulf oil spill was staged to spike gas prices. Wyoming doesn't even exist...there's just more Montana.

7 comments:

RW said...

Well who knows, maybe you'll attract some of the troglodytes over here. Where's Gino?

No but seriously? I'm glad somebody finally said these things. I thought I was the only one.

Brian said...

Actually, I don't even care if anyone notices. I just feel better having gotten all of that off my chest.

RW said...

Skepticism is not understood by those in stasis. And the search for alien intelligence version of modern American populist dogma that has taken hold around here is really getting to be a pain in the ass. So get it off...

er...

Gino said...

come to think of it, i have never known anybody who claimed to be from wyoming, but i have known more than montana's share of self claimers.

i think you're on to something.

Brian said...

I mean, I drove through a stretch of road a few months ago, and passed a sign that said "Wyoming", but all I really saw were cows and driving rain. For all I know, somebody just put a sign up somewhere, you know?

Also, Dick Cheney was in congress representing this alleged "state". He's basically the only person anyone has ever heard of from Wyoming. Is it really so hard to believe that an international conglomerate with the power and scope of Halliburton could fake an entire (unpopulated) state just to get their man into the highest reaches of the United States government?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Don't even get me started on the time the aliens landed at Devil's Tower.

chris said...

And where is Devil's Tower? In Wyoming/more-Montana!

Brian said...

Exactly.