5.01.2007

this is a very self-indulgent post you probably shouldn't bother reading unless you actually care

I am still alive (thanks for asking)...I took a much needed vacation last week and have been crazy busy at work on either end of it as a result. I was going to blog about the trip, but since I cannot improve upon [m]'s account I will simply refer you to that...

Beyond all that, I haven't felt like writing much. The events of the outside world hold little interest for me these days...I find most of them irrelevant, and the ones I do care about are so discouraging that I've found it necessary to my well-being to dwell on them as little as possible.

What's been weighing on my mind lately is much more personal, and not something I've wanted to think through "in public" until now. What it boils down to is that I'm giving serious thought to a pretty radical career shift...I'm getting to a place where the track I'm currently on does not seem to be the path to maximizing my happiness. Moreover, I am starting to see a difference between a career that is "challenging" and one that is "frequently difficult in ways that are utterly pointless".

I know it sounds like I am down on science; this is not exactly correct. I think an education in the hard sciences is excellent. I think (without exagerating) that people who pursue careers in the applied sciences are the foundation of civilization in the 21st century. And obviously, both of these ends require an academic/basic research establishment for their support and continued progress.

But I just don't think it's where I belong.

What attracted me to science in the first place was the notion of getting paid to think. And on the rare occasion when an idea or insight pays off into something novel that moves our knowledge a little bit forward, it's very, very rewarding.

The big problem I see is that I enjoy thinking expansively, and truly expansive thinking is not really rewarded in the context of basic research. What is rewarded is hacking away at one problem for so long that no one else in the world understands it any better than you do. This requires a degree of specialization and focus (on the scale of decades) that I just don't think I'm up for.

I've invested a great deal of time and energy into developing really solid analytical and critical thinking skills (the main benefit of a science education). I've also worked very hard at the crafts of both technical and non-technical writing (and have a respectable portfolio of publications to show for it.) Where I was always a quick study, I now have an astonishing capability to sift through very large amounts of information in relatively little time and distill it to its essential points (again, this is a benefit of the education, not a talent.)

And it just seems to me that to put all of that into a narrow little subfield of biology for the next 30 years or so is a collosal waste. Not to mention boring.

A lot of what interests me (as reflected to some extent in the occasionally thoughtful entry on this blog) has to do with issues of business and policy. I have a sense that if I could just get my foot in the door at either a consulting firm or a think tank I could probably thrive. That is to say, I just need to convince someone that all this education has taught me to think about anything and everything, and not just about molecules and cells and organs.

If you're still reading this rambling and immodest navel-gaze and have any thoughts about this nonsense, I'd sure be happy to hear them.

I'll try to post something witty and acerbic later this week.

12 comments:

D said...

Hallelujah brother!! Don't have much to say here for right now, but suffice it to say I'm right there with you.

Anonymous said...

Teach. It is a lot less obnoxious than policy work and as broad as you want to make it.

Brian said...

as broad as you want to make it.

Maybe if you're teaching econ, but try pulling that in a bio or chem class full of type-A wannabe MDs who only care about what's on the MCAT.

That said, teaching in laboratory research context is one of the few genuine draws of an academic career for me.

Brian said...

Thanks for the replys, both of you, BTW...

RW said...

Teach? Indeed! A big hurrah for kyle. It may not be as lucrative as other jobs, but the work in it can touch more than a few generations. Teach and publish to keep teaching. The biggest (maybe only) regret in my life is that I didn't follow that path myself. All these years later, I still wonder if it would be too late.

I don't know how it works in science, but getting on board think tanks usually requires some notoriety or accomplishment - or connections.

I used to think that scientific research exciting and rewarding work. Have I been wrong at that?

It would be a shame to see those letters that come after your name just sort of sit there.

Brian said...

Oh, I assure you the letters will come in handy with anything I end up doing...

Basically, I'm looking to sell my brain to the highest bidder. It's a good one and I haven't killed too much of it yet...

Scientific research is rewarding. Except when it isn't, which is most of the time. The truth is that what one does in the lab every day doesn't work 90% of the time (and I am suspicious of anyone for whom this isn't the case) because if you're doing it right, you're trying to do stuff that no one else has done before. This can be fun, but there are some perverse incentives in place that can be very hard to live with.

Perhaps I will expand on this at a later date...

Anyway, I appreciate all the free career counseling. Keep it coming folks!

Gino said...

your dream job: brewmaster.

how could you not want that?

after you get 'in' you can reach out a charitable hand up to me.

Brian said...

Gino--no arguments there.

One of the reasons I want to make more money is to get into that later on without risking my family's livelihood.

rob said...

What's wrong with type A (or in my case A minus) wanna-be's? I have an idea for a buffalo dude ranch if you are interested.

Gino said...

let me know when.
its always been my impossible fantasy to be part owner of a brewery.
havent a clue how to make beer, but plan on learning someday(been sayin that since i was 15).

i daydream about delivering my own brew to the local stores and people would actually buy it and develop a cult following, and i would win awards and stuff to hang on the wall.

my other dream is to produce a cheapass artificailly carbonated ,low quality beer, with a cool markting shtick, that folks buy becuase its micro brew, and so it must be good. and i would get rich from that.

basically, i lack ambition. i just want to own a brewery so i can hang out there.

chris said...

I'm trying to figure out if both of us being unpleased with our current situations is some sort of f'd up serendipity or just wishful thinking.

Brian said...

my other dream is to produce a cheapass artificailly carbonated ,low quality beer, with a cool markting shtick, that folks buy becuase its micro brew, and so it must be good. and i would get rich from that.

Unfortunately, that's already being done.

Making beer is easy. Hell, making good beer isn't really all that hard.

Making a profit at making beer is another ball of wax entirely...